[Y]anking myself out of my comfort zone

The title is pretty misleading because I thought I was out of my comfort zone but I somehow managed to find my way back...

Since I have started my new job, I only became busier, not only with the full-time 9-6 position but the other odd jobs that came to me by fate, by luck during the year. I had the opportunity to teach Chinese to Koreans; teach Korean to Malaysians; translate articles, books and reports from Chinese to English and vice versa, and even did a little Korean translation for the fun of it; transcribe which made me realise that I actually hate voice messages more that I thought I did (I will have another blog post about how voice messages irritates me); writing articles and posting them online to public; helping out in events and even manage to gain some experience in event organising and management, and many other odd jobs that takes up most of my time...

Being so filled with work will usually mean one thing... I would not have much time for other stuff.. Of course, my family would be my first priority and I do stay at home most of the time so that means my time with friends would be very much lesser than before... I am harder to date now, as some of my friends would comment... I am usually full during weekends and nobody wants to meet during weekdays knowing that they can't stay late and they would have to work tomorrow. It's not that I have no work, just, I am working everyday so weekdays, weekends actually made no difference and I prefer weekdays since it is crowd-less..

And so, with that I have also cut down on traveling, unless it's happening with the family.. Many would have question my decision on "missing out the world" and rather spend my money on commitments.. To be very honest, at the beginning after this decision was made, I felt green with envy every single time I see people posting the travel photos on social media, and it made my felt sulky and jealous which was actually really bad.. Then, after a while, after being able to get used to this coz people will just keep traveling, I have overcome the envy of seeing travel photos of others... I now  would just browse through and not feel anything since it is a fact that i could not afford traveling now.

And then.... here comes the comments from people who don't understand.. "traveling does not require a lot of money, you don't need to be a millionaire to travel", "you are losing out the chance of seeing the world", "traveling is my source of life, I really don't know how you could just stop traveling for years." and many more comments that look concerned but sound hurtful.. Yes, I am not going to travel for the time being unless it is with my family because I have reached the age where I prefer spending more time with family.. Why am i doing this? I have saving for commitments, I am not as blessed as some people who have an easy life without having to worry about monetary issues and being able to travel twice almost every year.. My life was once easy until it made a downturn and now I have to work on my own to get the old one back..

People would say that "life is short" YOLO, why would I spend my money on commitments rather than giving myself a chance to see the world.. Well, i was lucky enough to have been to several places during the past few years and I am really grateful of that luck but that luck ran out and I must accept the fact..

I would prefer not to depend on people when it comes to commitments.. even though it is for my family and not my personal commitments... I would prefer paying for the house my family is staying, getting all the furniture, being able to afford having my own place to stay and all my basic necessities..

If i could afford to support myself and my family one day without going hungry, that is my life goal.. and traveling comes after being able to afford things.. if that day every come, I would be so freaking proud of myself.. I just can't imagine my parents coming to me and suggest that I should discuss with my "husband" (provided if this person exists) to get a new house or anything that requires quite a sum of money that I would not have in the bank..
If that situation ever happen, (and the individual named husband exists) I hope I could tell my parents that "It's ok. I can afford."

Oh My Gawd... that would have been the coolest thing I have ever said in my life!! Being able to support not only myself but my family as well, without the help of the still-unsure-of-his-existance-husband

I really hope that one day.. just one day.. and i hope it could happen soon.. the day when I can tell my parents I can afford whatever they need.

Ooooh, can't help feeling proud just thinking of this..

Alright, time to dream
Signing off
Toodles!