Social media with age pressure

As you can see, this age pressure thingy has really got into me until I have to write another blog post on it...Basically, with the birth and amazing development of social media, the tension is obviously building... Some people even live two lives, one for social media and their real lives...

At my age, my social media timeline is practically filled with weddings (getting lesser now, most of the "friends" are married), babies and travel.. So, unconsciously.. I will start comparing myself to them...
5 years ago, I was comparing the relationship and marriage part where I will be thinking, why I am not seeing anybody? IS there anything wrong with me? Will I grow old alone? Am I not pretty enough?? Not attractive enough? This was a time where I was desperate for a relationship, being very very self-conscious about myself. But, being me, I was yearning for a romantic relationship but I don't think I did anything about it besides just starting to observe the boys around me and searching for boyfriend material.. apart from that, I did not expand my social circle nor did I open myself up to know people... So, the desperation stayed until it slowly faded off a while later...
3 years ago, I was self-conscious about my career... People who graduated with me are getting promotions, earning a heck lot of money traveling to various places that have been a dream to me... Or, there were people running their own business for a few years and it was finally taking off.. they are now enjoying the fruit of their hard work.. while here I am sitting in the office in my cubicle, replying Facebook comments which technically is not my job because at times there are questions that will be better to be answered by a customer service but I had to do it because I know the language.. I once said I will be working on a paycheque forever.. I don't like risks, I don't want to pump in funds worrying that I might lose them.. THEN I started thinking... is this right? Do I want to rely on a paycheque forever? Do I not want something I could call my own?? If I am on a paycheque, I just own the work but not the job... People say you can claim ownership of the work you have done for the company, I agree... but from my point of view, people will recognise it from the company's point of view and unless you are the face of the company, the credit will never reach you.. So... Do I want to change???
Then, last year, I saw another trend on social media... people showing off their keys to their property... which then again, triggered me... AGAIN... Owning a house has always been my dream, I know it may not be necessary for some but I really want to own a house and now the people around my age or within my generation are achieving that while I have no clue where to start... I don't even have the capacity to do it and that got me pretty stressed out...

I know that now people are constantly taking breaks off social media saying that's it's toxic and causing depression and stuff... but social media has been part of our lives already... some people can live without it but most people can't so what should you do?? Since I couldn't put off social media, I will have to deal with it... I will feel competitive and left out when I see people achieving what I dream to achieve but as years pass, I come to realise, we are all different... They may have achieved this but there are still things that they are striving to accomplish... Things that I have them done and dealt with... We never know... The social media is where people present the best, the part they want people to know them for, things that they are proud of so just look at it and don't think too much about it... Just tell yourself, I will get there, maybe later but I will get there... Treat it as a motivation and you can even treat it as a reference!! Oh, she bought a house, it's an open kitchen, that doesn't seem like a good idea, i need to get a hood, I guess I should note this down when I am looking at houses later... Or something like, Wow! this guy has a business! and he has some accounting issues, remind me to be organised with my accounts if I ever own a business... Social media is actually good depending on the way you view it...

So... I agree it does cause pressure... But we will have to be smart enough to turn the pressure into our advantage...

That's all I have to say.. This blog was in the draft for years!!! and it's finally out!!

Signing off
Toodles

Better late than never

22 days into 2019 and this is my very first post of the year. So I guess, I shall follow the norm of doing a look back at the stuff I have done for the past year in 2018... Kinda late, but better late than never...

To be honest... I only remembered several big stuff happening last year maybe because they were too overwhelming that it kinda overlapped the little things in my life which kinda makes me regret not blogging when these small things happened...

First things first... I hit the big 3-0... and a lot has changed!! Knots are starting to tie and I am finally getting to know what I want in life, the main objective that I want to achieve in my future... SECURITY.... regardless in whatever aspect in life, I need security... I am not someone who can settle with being healthy and happy, I need more, and I used to feel guilty about that, I thought I was being greedy but it turns out, some people just want more in life... I am one of those people... I am not saying that it is wrong to just want to be happy and healthy, just for me, being healthy and happy is not enough, I need to be in control and feel secure...

So, I made a decision... Quite a scary one... I decided to start a business!! In a different state, 2 hours away from home, everyone I have told will ask me, why?? Why did I choose a place that requires 2 hours of travel?? To be honest, I guess it's just fate... I have the chance of nearer venues but my indecisive nature cost me to lose them... So, this an opportunity that appeared after seeing a few slipped passed so before much consideration, I took it.

Then here comes the part where I had to become an adult, I had to meet with suppliers for renovation, sign contracts, learn about business, register the business and a whole lot of adulting stuff which includes bills and being organised... So, here's how it looked like...

Quite a huge space and minimal stuff to be done... but minimal doesn't mean zero... here's the con when the place is 2 hours away from home, you have to place 100% trust on your suppliers to do a good job... They didn't fail me though... At least I think they didn't..

Then... It's time to work my magic... had a personal assistant with me to work on the display bookshelves... These were 100% DIY-ed...

From wooden pallets that look something like this...

To these... attached some plywood to create the shelves and there you have it... A wooden pallet book display shelves...

A simple arrangement for the classroom setting and voila... A class is born...

The exterior of the lot... I haven't got a signboard yet... never ending of stuff to do, I need to apply a gazillion types of licenses...

Look out for our bunting... It's quite eye-catching... Huge shoutout to my colleague who helped me design this FOC!!! But I do respect creativity, I am gonna repay him with countless meals of his choice... 

Classes have started and here are some of my students hard at work... Doing great at every class... 

So that's my biggest achievement made in 2018... It was not an easy one... I started to worry about stuff like if I were able to pay rent... or do I have enough students to sustain... This stuff really bugged me to the extent that it will wake me up in the middle of the night having me wonder if I have made the right decision, was all these just a huge mistake?? Did I fairy-taled the whole idea to make it seem easy which in reality is undescribable times worse than it seems??

Besides that, being a licensee with a licensor who has principles that sometimes doesn't make sense is a huge PITA!! Not to mention, these requirements kept me from sleeping too... Restless days... Sleepless nights... What have I gotten myself into??

And sometimes I would think... Why didn't I start this 2 years ago when I was still in my 20s where I will still have the energy to push myself to the limit?? I always thought that 30 was supposed to be the age where people start settling down and build a family, instead, I am building a career... But I am still glad I took the opportunity and started... It's better late than never though... And this is a huge contribution to my future's security... In case I get retrenched or just got tired of working in an office, I will always have something to fall back on to without having to depend on anybody...

Well, I sure hope things could get better...

signing off!
Toodles!