Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The(D) Urge

As I was planning something for the past few days... a very big plan that I think is not safe to be revealed here as I don't know who my readers(if any) are... My top secret plans are to be kept a secret until it unfolds itself... *smirks

Ok, that's not the point of me writing this down.. What I want to say is, when an idea is formed, a decision is made whether to fulfill it or not then, after the decision is made the action is taken and the outcome surfaces.. What did I miss in between??? URGE!!! that's not some sound effect... it's U-R-G-E... the push factor in you to make the decision, take action and accept the outcome... and this urge thing is the most important thing within the whole process.. as it only appears whenever it wants to and when it's gone.. it's GONE... that's when you start doubting your decision.. you idea and the worst case scenario appears...

It is a little vague.... ok, if you understand then just stay there.. I would like to share this example... a guy decides that his gf is the ONE for him.. so he has made up his mind to marry her and he began to plan his proposal..
idea(more like trigger, factor, or whatever you call it.. the initiation??): gf is the ONE
decision: marry her!!
action: propose!!!!!!!

So when he decides that he is going to propose the urge has came in the time he prepares for his proposal.. and everything went on perfectly until the day he wanted to propose.. the very day.. urge decided to go back home and sleep coz it has been waiting too long for the action to be taken and it's bored... (Ok, i don't know if urge is a boy thing or a girl thing, i think it's both that is why i address it as IT)
AND THEN... jeng jeng jeng.... (don't know why did I use JENG.. i hated it~~ due to some people who use it quite frequently.. and it annoys.. irritates me...) when urge disappears.. he starts thinking... it's not that he didn't think in the first place but urge was stronger than the rational mind, it's the strongest of all and nothing can beat it.. so now thoughts has came.. "what if"s start to appear... what if she rejects, what if she's not ready, what if I regret, what if we really got married and I can handle the marriage, what if it is not time yet, what if... what if...... and then... the effort is gone.. plan cancelled.. poooof! there goes a high-chance-to-be a perfect happy outcome where the girl says yes and they get married and live happily ever after...

So, you see... here's my point.. I have gotten the sudden-appearing urge to do something.. then I decided that it will be carried out after my Korea trip.. and now, i think urge is bored of waiting and decides to take off.. so now i'm having doubts about my decision. the "what if"s...

sigh.. so i'm practically dealing with a gazillion what if-s in my mind now... where's my urge?? this is like a computer game where you reach the boss level and you keep game over-ing and start over coz you can't get the ultimate super power(the urge) to finish the boss(the what if)...

Ok, I'm done... off to sleep now.. Japan in now leading 4-0.. I think Malaysia has no hope to win this.. Eh, Japan made it top 16 in the World Cup, Malaysia couldn't even get in top 16 Asia(did it???)... but anyway... still cheering for malaysia.. hopefully they could scare a goal or tw... ei... Finish already??!!!

Signing Off~~

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